Dungeon of Darkness- A sort of Monologue.
PART I: Life and Death-
Walking in the darkness
Pining for light
My body gives up
Surrenders to the endless voyage of the ancient den
I become helpless; yet not wanting to give up hope
The mind says resign to your fate
Heart disapproves and says no. fight you are a fighter.
The thought of losing this battle against fierce destiny kills me
How can I let this fear outdo my will to live by hope?
Despair rules my body and not my soul says a voice within
I try to get up but fail
I am too weak to cope up with this struggle against the predestined end of mine
I finally submit to his will… But what! As I am about to resign, I see that he comes extending his hand.
Glaring light slays the darkness.
********************************************************************************
Help. Please help me get out of this dungeon of darkness.
Why did you not ask for help earlier? Had you called me I would have certainly helped you. This would not have been your fate.
Oh is it! I did not know that I had to call you for help. I am sorry. Now I call you for help. I tried everything but I failed to come out of this den. Please. Do something I fell at your feet. Give me LIFE OR DEATH as you please. But liberate me out of this dark dungeon. I feel scared!
CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF. CHOOSE TO LIVE OR TO DIE
**********************************************************************************
Why are you doing this to me? When you said you are here to help why are you not helping me?
Help yourself.
How can I? I don’t know what I want. How can I ask for something I don’t know? I mean I don’t know what to ask for Life or death. I just want freedom from here at any cost!
You first need to know then what do you want. Life or Death? Wait till the realization dawns upon you.
Until then do I have to endure this enduring travail in this enigmatic den! I know not what it has in store for me in the near future!
Why should you worry for the future? See the present.
The present is hopeless! I feel frustrated!
Why are you frustrated?
Because I don’t get what I DESIRE
What do you want? In fact you just said you don’t know what you want.
I am not that confused understand! I know what I desire!
O ! so there is a difference between what you want and what you desire is it?
It is not that confounding you see! I will explain. I am disillusioned about life as I don’t get what I desire.
So this means you know what You desire. Right!
Yes. Certainly.
Then Desire!
What!
See. At least I can help you in this. If you tell me what you desire. I will grant your wish.
Really!
Yes. Really.
Wow!
Wait. But first you have to choose!
Choose?
Yes. You are forgetful is it? Let me remind you. See. To get what you desire in life, you have to first choose between living and dying. That is the point we are at the moment. So now, quickly tell me what you want me to give you- LIFE OR DEATH.
See. Let me be very upfront with you. It was your will that I get engulfed in this dark dungeon. So, now you decide between life and death for me.
What?
Yes indeed. Do you think I am a fool not to realize that you put me into this horrible place or else I would not have been wandering in here by choice!
You mean to say I manipulated your imprisonment in this den
Certainly yes.
Well if you think so that I can regulate you then leave everything to me.
See! Now that’s what is called being caught up in your own ditch!
Meaning?
Now you said. Leave everything to me. So I leave it to you. Give me life or death!
And I leave it to you. That is my will.
Why don’t you make the choice for me?
O! So you want me to take the burden of your choice is it? So that you blame me easily. See you have to make a choice. That’s it. If I thrust my will upon you. You will dump everything on me. Please pardon me. I don’t want to make any choice for you. Choose Life or death.
O no! I am still at the point where I started from
Everyone is perpetually at the point where they start from gentleman! It is just that they don’t realize it! So now choose- quickly.
I don’t know. Life has not offered anything promising to me.
Have you tried?
Yes. And failed million times
Failure is the ladder of success!
But, success does not seem anywhere near.
What’s near then-
Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.
Then choose Death.
I cannot. I won’t as I am unaware of what lies beyond it. I feel it is Impregnable Darkness , the invincible darkness I would be perpetually in…
There is not life I can choose nor death I can prefer. There is nothing And…
And?
And I dread this Nothingness. I dread it!
Hmm. So, you fear ‘nothing’ is it?
Good for you. This means you fear nothing. You are Fearless that means as you fear nothing! Be happy.
What have you understood?
That you fear nothing. You are Brave. Hail to your bravado!
Ridiculous! Do not engulf me again in this wordplay of yours. You see. Please be serious.
Oh! Serious. Do you think you are Serious?
Of course! I am seriously telling you that I fear nothing.
And this you are saying seriously that ‘You fear nothing is it’?
Yes.
Not at all. You are not serious at all. I can vouch for it. You are saying you fear nothing and you say you are serious! Can anybody fear nothing? It is possible? What nonsense!
What are you trying to do with me? Why are you trying to the add meanings to my words that are antithetical to my intent?
Is it so?
Yes.
Am I going against your intent?
Yes.
How come? A moment ago you said you do not have any intent?
When did I say something like this?
Just a second ago. You said You cannot choose. Can someone with intent in mind not be able to select what one wants? Think.
I cannot decide what to choose that would liberate me from this perennial dungeon of darkness! But this does not mean that I do not have access to thoughts!
Oh! You think is it but you cannot choose.
I simply cannot!
Try to. Why are you not trying to choose? Make an attempt
I fear.
You fear nothing you said and now you are saying you fear. What a paradox!
Sir. If you do not wish to help me, just refuse and leave me to my fate. Do not mock me. I have already told you I FEAR NOTHING! The perennial nothingness!
That’s what I am saying. You fear NOTHING!
So, now if I fear nothing and feel that my choice would bring me nothing how can I choose? Is it possible?
Of course it is. If you fear nothing and your choice brings you nothing then you have nothing to bother about. Nothing is nothing neither mirth nor sadness, neither benefit nor loss, neither mirth or despair…
Nothing is in fact what you have to choose!
What does this mean?
To comprehend nothingness is what you would have to do in order that my words make sense to you.
Comprehend nothing. It can only liberate you from this dungeon of darkness
Yes.
How can I comprehend nothing?
By awakening yourself to the meaning of nothing
How come?
(loud laughter.) So you want all the answers here and now is it?
I am afraid, Yes.
But I have only one thing to give you- Do you want it? If you say yes I will give it to you or else, I would take leave of you now.
Oh! Don’t leave me alone here. Please. I am scared. Please.
I will have to go now. The time has come.
But(thinking) fine. Go if you have to but before that please give me what you have to…, may be it will keep me company in your absence.
Fine. So gentleman. I have nothing absolutely nothing to give you. Accept it. I don’t have answers to any of your queries but I have NOTHING!
Fine. So you again are making fun of me by offering me nothing. Why don’t you opt telling me candidly instead that you cannot give me anything.
No. not anything. Nothing!
Leave. Please leave I think I am better off without you.
OK.
What do I do with this nothing?
Where to go?
No road seen, no place to live, no one to talk to… just darkness. An inerasable darkness!
O No! Wading through this darkness I cannot! I cannot! No. This seems endless!
How will I get out of here?
Is there someone out here to help me come out of this eternal dark chamber where I am in right now?
End of Part I: Life and Death.